How to let go of the fear of fucking up!

lindadaviescarr-33It’s quite common you know. I know we all think we are special and we are, we really are. BUT many many people are fearful of failure. So try and understand why you feel the way you do.

Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called “atychiphobia”) is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals. Its overwhelming, its paralysing and it does not serve us! Fear of failure can be linked to many causes.

Simply put, awareness does help. Self aweareness is critical and you can use the acronym AWARE which stands for:

A: Accept the anxiety. Don’t try to fight it.

W: Watch the anxiety. Just watch it and when you notice it, scale your level of fear and start to breathe longer on the out-breath.

A: Stands for ‘Act normally’. …

R: Repeat the above steps in your mind if necessary.

E: Expect the best.

Every entrepreneur I know is afraid of failure. It’s human nature. When we go outside of our comfort zone, we feel scared. As entrepreneurs, our identity, ego and our business are so wrapped up in what we are doing, that when things do not go as we expect, we can literally feel overwhelmed, paralysed and so scared.

So learn how to use failure to your advantage, rather than dreading it.  Here are five proven strategies to move through your fear of failure:

Reframe Your Goals

First, reframe failure by shifting your goals.  Expand your goal to include learning something new and you will never technically “fail” because there is always something to be learned. Instead of “earn £10,000 this sales period,” reframe your goal to include “Learn something new about how to successfully launch a product”. You can still target £10,000 in revenue, while at the same time anchoring yourself to the goal of learning something of value about launching a new product. This way, you cannot “fail” because regardless of the outcome, you are bound to learn something of value.

Visualise Obstacles

Positive thinking alone is not enough. Research has shown that the best outcomes are created when we balance positive thinking with visualising the future obstacles and struggles we will encounter.

Think of a situation in which you are afraid of failure.  Visualize yourself now hitting an obstacle, allow yourself to feel the fear, and then see yourself moving forward.  Next, spend a few minutes planning how to overcome whatever obstacles may stand in your way. Then see yourself succeeding despite these obstacles.

Uncover Your Story

When we take failure very personally, we are always – always – associating the failure with a bigger story about ourselves. We are taking the failure to mean “I am not good enough”, “I will never be successful as an entrepreneur”, “My team is awful”, “My boss is a nightmare” etc.

When you feel trouble by a failure, ask yourself “ What is the belief I have about this situation?”  See if you can uncover the massive and  exaggerated story you are telling yourself about this particular failure.  Separate the story from the facts.

Once you uncover the story, notice that it is just that. A story. And see if you can re-write it by creating a more positive response such as  “I’m willing to take risks, I learn from my mistakes and move on.”

Ask Three Powerful Questions

The best response to perceived failure is to ask oneself these three powerful questions:

1)   What did I learn from this situation?

2)   How can I grow as a person from this experience?

3)   What are three positive things I can take from this situation?

Some people are tuned into the negative so find it easy to list all the epic failures, some focus on the positives and have trained themselves to only focus on the positives. So preserve with the exercise – it’s all about training your mind.

Finally, ask yourself what would you do if you had no fear?

 

Hugs…

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The Master Fixer

PS: For a daily boost of motivation, support, a challenge and for making a difference with you or your business, please join us at https://www.facebook.com/lindamasterfixer/

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