“Me time” a guilty pleasure or critical need for existence?
— Valerie Bertinelli
Stop the roundabout I want to get off! Healthy Selfishness – fact or fiction?
I have come to realise that acting in my own best interests, when done properly, isn’t a selfish act – it’s a way to ensure that you’re making the very best of your life, so that I can help those around you to make the very best of theirs.
So I’ve tried acting consistently in my own best interests involves 4 key areas:
So, what are my best interests? How do I base my actions, my new shiny 2014 goals, my time-management (help me now!!) and my life on them – and how will this affect the people around me?
• Meeting my physical needs, such as sleep and exercise
• Meeting my emotional needs, such as asking for support when you need it (without the guilt)
• Meeting my mental needs, such as having a stimulating job (without the excess stress)
• Meeting my spiritual needs, such as taking time to meditate
My initial reaction to this is to feel uncomfortable – like most people, I worry that I’m being selfish if I put myself first.
But I’ve come to realise that acting in your own best interests, when done properly, isn’t a selfish act – it’s a way to ensure that you’re making the very best of my life, so that I can help those around you to make the very best of theirs.
One piece of advice that I’ve come across in the writings of several life coaches is that we should act in our own best interests. I’m told all the time to be KIND to myself!!
So, what are my best interests? How do you base actions, goals, time-management and life on them – and how will this affect the people around me? And the agonising question – will they “get it” or continue to expect me to be everything to everyone and a form of superwoman without the cute shiny blue hot pants and shooting wires coming from my shiny cuffs??
So I’ve decided a healthy selfishness is an important ingredient in me living a full life, and its presence — or lack of it — can be felt in both the biggest issues as well as the smallest details.
I remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: human beings must meet their basic needs before they can move on to higher-level goals. Since most of us already know that we should take care of ourselves—but often have trouble figuring out how to do it.
So life in 2014 is going to be balanced, made up of regular deposits so that I always have reserves to draw upon. So the small gestures even the small deposits will be worth it.
Many psychologists see healthy selfishness as a higher level of mental function that can help you reach your full potential. People who practice healthy selfishness have a zest for living, a joy that comes from savouring one’s accomplishments. Healthy selfishness opens the door to a life of freedom — freedom from being ruled by the opinions and demands of others as well as freedom from the voices in your own mind, often left over from childhood, that judge and blame you relentlessly.
More “me time” musings to follow…
So its zest and va va voom all the way for 2014!!
Have a brilliant day and stay in touch..